I think there is a part of all of us that dreams of being Moses. Maybe it's not even an inherent dream; it may be foisted upon us by those around us. We are expected to lead; we are expected to go forth and do great exploits. But I wonder if I don't prefer the role of an Aaron or Hur instead. Is it a character flaw to desire the ministry of holding up someone else's arms?
Maybe it's fear that keeps me from pursuing Mosaic leadership. I look at the flat-out fights Moses had with God, and I don't want any part of it. Moses seemed to have to bear an incredible amount of responsibility; half of the time God refers to Israel as Moses' people. I feel like I can barely shoulder responsibility for my own life, let alone for 2 million other people. But Moses seems to hardly stumble under the weight. It never dawns on him to share leadership; he just struggles manfully onward. His father-in-law has to give him a wakeup call to even bring it to his attention.
But Aaron and Hur seem to be content with relatively little responsibility. Were they leaders? I suppose, in their way, they were. They weren't political like Moses or military like Joshua, but Aaron was about to become the high priest. But right now, they seem to be content with helping their leader out, with supporting him, with making him look good.
Usually, when I push myself to the front, it doesn't look that good anyhow. I think I've been so hammered with the importance of leadership that I feel like I have to always be in control, always be inspiring all the followers around me. And then, when leadership faces its battles, as it always does, I am disappointed and my self-image is damaged. I think I need to come to terms with the fact that a desire for control is not the same as the gift of leadership. It is okay to have a gift for helping others fulfill their God-given vision.
I cannot let this deteriorate into a rationale for indolence, but I can rest easier knowing that I do not have to be the front man. I can support someone with a bigger dream.
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