Baptism Cannonball!

Here are some funny lines from recent late-night TV.
LENO: Presidential candidate Tom Vilsack… not a lot of name recognition. I don’t want to say that Tom is unknown, but his secret service codename is Tom Vilsack. Be honest. Before you came here today, how many had heard the name Vilsack? How many thought it was a pickle?
LENO: Al-Qaida released another video tape from their No. 2 man. This one had a shocking revelation: "The great Satan will soon taste unspeakable suffering from our hands. Oh, and by the way, I am the father of Anna Nicole’s baby.” Not to make light of this poor woman’s death. Now Anna Nicole Smith’s bodyguard is the fifth person to claim he might be the father. With five people claiming to be the father, I don’t think he was a very good bodyguard.
FERGUSON: I was reading about this self help book, "The Secret,” written by an Australian reality producer. Who knows more about spiritual principles than an Australian reality TV producer? One fan of the book said it stopped her panic attacks and doubled her acupuncture business. I’m thinking, "Who’s going to go see a panicky acupuncturist?”